I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
