That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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