you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
