Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
