i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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