do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My ass is underappreciated
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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