Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
