do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
