Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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