Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
