Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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