Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
even my farts smell like vagina
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
