See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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