I'm passing your future prison.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
