Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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