She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
