We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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