We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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