was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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