I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
