I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
