im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
