Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My dick has a subreddit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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