the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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