Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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