I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this just has baby written all over it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
