fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
