I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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