tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
