what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
