i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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