He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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