Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
