Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize