I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
