How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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