doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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