I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
