he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
