he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
