she was so not down for the gang bang
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
"it" just moved
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
