then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize