oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
