I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
