I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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