i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
