Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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