you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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