Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
