i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
