He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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