I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
What a dumb baby whore.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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