why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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