I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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