Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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