She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
