I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
