Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
barbara walters just said penis...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
