Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
